As we step into 2026, many of the leaders, professionals, and teams I coach are carrying the same questions: Where do I start? How do I shape change? How do I build momentum without forcing a reinvention? What I’ve noticed—again and again—is that meaningful change rarely begins with a grand plan. It begins with a quieter moment: noticing the story you’re telling yourself, and realising you don’t have to obey it.
Here’s a simple prompt I often use in coaching: How would you describe yourself to a stranger? Most people reach for traits that sound permanent: “I’m not a people person.” “I’m bad at maths.” “I’m not creative.” “I’m too young/too old.” “I’m just not confident.” The moment we speak this way, a current pattern turns into an identity—and identity statements quietly become self-fulfilling boundaries.
This is where Carol Dweck’s idea of fixed mindset vs growth mindset becomes deeply practical. In a fixed mindset, failure feels like a verdict on who you are. In a growth mindset, failure becomes feedback on what you need to practise next. The goal isn’t to deny reality or lower standards—it’s to stay accountable without being defined by a moment.
And yet, in real life, mindset shifts don’t happen in a vacuum. Under pressure, our emotions and internal narratives can hijack behaviour—especially for leaders and teams navigating change. That’s why I often draw on Susan David’s work on emotional agility: when you notice a story that keeps you stuck, meet it with curiosity, compassion, and courage. Curiosity asks, What is this story trying to protect me from? Compassion reminds you, I am more than this story. Courage says, I’m not going to let this story boss me around.
If you want a practical way to apply this today—personally, professionally, or with your team—try this coaching micro-exercise. Choose one trait you dislike about yourself (or one “team trait” you’ve accepted as fixed). Then rewrite it in growth language. “I am ___” becomes “I’m learning ___.” “I’m not ___” becomes “I’m out of practice at ___.” “I always ___” becomes “I haven’t built the habit of ___ yet.” Then choose one micro-action—small enough to do this week, meaningful enough to create new evidence. Transformation isn’t a motivational event; it’s a pattern of repeatable choices.
For leaders and teams, this matters even more—because stuck stories don’t only live inside individuals; they spread into culture. “We’re not collaborative.” “Nothing changes here.” “Leadership doesn’t listen.” In team coaching, I’m often helping groups surface these narratives without shame (they’re usually protective), and then convert them into choices: What behaviour would we practise if we believed improvement was possible? What ‘ways of working’ will we trial for the next four weeks? What does ‘one degree better’ look like in how we meet, decide, and hold accountability?
So here’s a question to carry into this week: If that story wasn’t allowed to choose for you, what would you choose next?
Written by Nkulu
