I believe that there is an inherent deposit within each of us – gifts, abilities, skills, and resources – that were not meant solely for our own good. Instead, I do believe that we are called to use our gift mix to invest in others. Unfortunately, we often face a thinking deficit when it comes to investing in others. The first deficit or mental barrier that I will tackle in this short article is called Inferiority:
It is easy to identify somebody else that is more qualified when it comes to investing in people. We say to ourselves, “If I had more money, more influence, or more talent, I would gladly invest in others.” Then we point at someone we consider superior to ourselves and say, “pick her.” Inferiority sells us a lie that everybody is better than us. It tricks us into thinking that we have to be at the top of our game before we can make a single investment in somebody else. As a result, we benchmark ourselves against the “most qualified.”
Inferiority makes the measure of success feel far higher than it actually is. We look at people like Mother Teresa and say, “Now that was a saint! If I was like her then I could impact others.” But we forget the very simple words that Mother Teresa spoke: “If you can’t feed a hundred people, then feed just one.” Inferiority focuses on everybody else’s superiority rather than our personal responsibility.
Question: How have you seen inferiority paralyze people? How has it affected your ability to invest in others?
The second mental barrier that paralyzes people from using their inherent deposit of gifts, abilities, skills, and resources to invest in the people around them, is called Inadequacy. In the last article, I covered the first article, I’ve addressed – Inferiority.
Inadequacy is a first cousin to inferiority. While inferiority makes the measure of success too high, inadequacy makes the assessment of one’s self too low. Inferiority says, “They’re too good for me.” Inadequacy says, “I’m too bad for them.” Rather than focusing on the few strengths that we can contribute to others’ growth, we lose perspective and stare at what feels like a mountain of weaknesses. We tell ourselves lies like, “I don’t have what it takes to lead someone,” “My resource pool is too shallow to allocate anything meaningful to somebody else’s growth,” or “My network of relationships could never add value to somebody else.” While inferiority focuses on everybody else’s superiority, inadequacy focuses on my insufficiency.
Questions: How does inadequacy show up in the life of a leader? How can a person overcome inadequacy in their thinking and make a meaningful investment in others?
The third mental barrier that paralyzes people from using their inherent deposit of gifts, abilities, skills, and resources to invest in the people around them, is called Insecurity.
In the last two articles, I’ve addressed – inferiority and inadequacy.
Insecurity is driven by fear. It focuses on the what-ifs and what-mights from a negative perspective. Insecurity produces anxiety and self-doubt and breeds fear about whether or not our investment would actually make a difference in someone’s life. “What if I fail?” “What if I look foolish?” Rather than focusing on the impact of possibilities, we are distracted by the potential negative impact our efforts might have on us.
Mark Twain once said, “Keep away from people who are trying to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.” Twain’s words provide some good perspective when these mental barriers of Inferiority, Inadequacy, and Insecurity try to undermine our efforts to invest in people. First, they help us to remember that we have something great to offer. And second, they remind us to inspire greatness in others.
Questions: How is insecurity affecting your ability to invest in others? What steps can a person take to overcome these three mental barriers of Inferiority, Inadequacy, and Insecurity?
I BIG THANK YOU goes out to those friends, mentors, and coaches who overcame their respective mental barriers, and actively sowed their inherent gifts, abilities, skills, and resources into my life!